Hey again. So, March never really got better. I mean, in a sense it did, but for the most part it l sucked. My friends weren't making fun of me anymore, or at least it didn't bother me as much, but I still had to live through a week of the musical.
I already told you the story, so this is what wound up happening. I was ignored by all the tech crew, and the boy who was supposed to be helping me lift all the stuff that weighed more than I did, kept disappearing so the actors had to help me (because god forbid Kate and Catie should have to help lift things. It would ruin their popcorn eating time). By closing night though, they'd finally started talking to me again. Although, that might have more to do with the 'kiss' Joe and I had. yeah, umm, during the song "Do you Love me?", my friend Joe and I would act it out, me being Tevye and him being Golde. Well, the last night, he leaned me over and bent down like he was going to kiss me. He didn't, but it sure looked like he did. So, Kate is probably telling all her friends we did and that'll be a new rumor for the rumor mill. Oh well, I do love Joe (not romantically) so it's okay. And he did the same thing to our friend Emily later, so it's alright.
Besides being ignored however, I did have so much fun. Emily taught me the ballet, I got to hang out with Joe (something I haven't been able to do much lately), and I just got to be myself for 5 hours a night. See, I love being part of all the crazy stuff that happens, but I just can't with my best friends because they aren't a part of that world. Oh well.
Friday, we didn't have school, so Emma, Alyson, SoHee, Theresa, and I were planning on going skating, then shopping for a prom dress for Alyson and SoHee. It was just going to be the 5 of us because we really wanted tome to hang out. I haven't gotten a chance to hang out with Theresa and Alyson since 8th grade, so I was really looking forward to it. Well, SoHee invited Becca and Bryan, because she didn't realize a) it was girls only and b) Becca has a mutual disliking with Emma and Theresa. Charlie found out when the two of us walked over to where SoHee, Becca, and Bryan were talking so I felt bad not inviting Charlie, so I'm the one that invited him. Well, it was fun, but there was just so much undercurrents of drama going on, it got awkward at times. We went shopping for a prom dress for Alyson and SoHee, but Emma didn't go because Bryan instead on going. Emma has a weird thing about not going shopping with guys because it's immodest or something. All I can say is, I feel bad for her kids if she doesn't loosen up.
Skipping stuff, the next awful thing was ballet. I love dancing, but I'm not that good at it. Okay, I actually suck big time. The whole 'Spanish dancing gene' completely skipped over me. Well anyways, the new dance instructor said a bunch of weeks ago that she wants the pointe dances to be really clean next year, and that she was going to make a dance class just for people who don't want to be on pointe. Well, come registration time, she recomends where she thinks you should go. She put me in the class for non-pointe people. Advanced ballet 3 it's called. I don't know that just hurt me big time. And maybe I could deal with it since I'd be getting away from this one girl that hates me, excepts I wouldn't be. The dance instructor said that even if you're taking pointe, she wants you to take that class for extra practice. So I'd have to see that girl and know that in her head she's saying "Hah! I'm in pointe class and you're not. Why didn't you just quit?" And I should quit. I'm no good, and I always feel awful, like I'm holding the other girls back. This isn't anything new b the way, I've been thinking of quitting for a few years now. I should have quit this year when our old dance instructor said she was retiring to be with her family. But in her 'closing speech' she said she hoped we all kept dancing because we each had something to offer, but I don't. I guess you can't understand how much this decision is killing me. For 10 years, dancing has been the one thing no one could take away from me. Through the years of wanting my parents to divorce, the years of the divorce, moving, switching schools, it's always been with me. t's like I'm oosing a part of myself, but it hurts to keep dancing. I'm just going to stop here. I can't even see the screen right now...
Okay, so I've calmed down a little bit now. On to the good news. I won $100, Charlie asked me to prom, and Spring Break. We went to Washington D.C. It was pretty fun, except for the first half I kept getting left behind. I finally just completely ignored my family when we went to the zoo. I lost my stepmother's respect, my dad thinks I'm a bitch, and my stepbrother just thinks I'm moody, but I finally got the message across, so the second half was pretty nice.
Oh! And I got a 26 on the ACT, 670 on the Reading SAT, 510 on the Math SAT, and a 600 on the Writing SAT. I'm floored on the reading. I mean, I know I'm good at reading, but I'm in the 92nd percentile in the nation!! I only had 9 wrong apparently. I'm disappointed with myself for the math. I'm int he 48th percentile nationally, and the 19th for my state. Ouch. I'm awful at math, and I just proved it. I mean, average isn't bad, but I don't know. And I'm okay with writting. I could have done so much better on the essay. I got an 8 out of 12. Instead of 5 paragraphs, I only had 4. That's not really a good thing. But, I'm in the 81st percentile nationally, so I guess I should stop complaining, especially since English isn't my first language, Spanish is.
I guess that wraps up March. Thank god that awful month is over with. Not much going on with April so far, but I'll keep you updated. It's going to be eventful. Recital, State Choir Festival, and Prom to end the month off (Litterally. It's the 30th this year). Adios!
P.S. If anyone knows how to do the upside-down exclamation mark, let me know. I've been trying to figure it out for years, and I have no clue. Same with accent marks and tilde's.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Gloomy March
So has anyone else had a really crappy time lately? This past week has been awful, and the next two weeks aren't looking up either. See, for the past week (and actually before. More like the past year or two) my friends (specifically my immature 14 year old friend) has been picking on me on this guy. Okay, remember the best friend/crush guy? Well, I've finally gotten over him (It helps that the sluts of the sophomore class are always around him and I just got tired of it, plus the drama with my best friend of her going to prom with him) and today I just got sick of it. I've told her over and over again to knock it off, then her boyfriend when he started, and they didn't. So then today, the school's gay guy who's in denial and is thinking of asking me to prom started talking to me. I don't mind him, but he is kinda annoying. So 14 year old friend comes along while I'm talking to him and just starts to drag me away saying "She's mine!" So then gay guy goes "No, she's mine" while 14 year old lets me go. Then, my best friend walks over and puts his arm around m and says "no she's mine" 14 year old and her bf went "awww" so I got kinda upset and told them that no, I don't like him like that and just walked off to the only place I could think of going: the bio room. That's been our hang out since last year before school.
So most of them follow me in, 14 year old and her bf go to walk around school. There were about 6 of us just hanging out and talking, when gay comes in and starts talking to me again. He asked if the school had gotten the new light board yet, and I said no and started ranting about how it's a complete and total fire hazard since it sparks if you put it on a certain level, and each year that level gets lower and lower (which makes the stage darker and darker). Somehow we got into talking about if I caught on fire and my brilliant best friend says "Do you have any idea how many views that would get on youtube?" Everyone laughed and agreed so then I asked "You guys wouldn't really laugh and videotape it,would you?" My best friend said yes, then quickly added he'd be sad though. So there you have it, my friends wouldn't care if I caught on fire. And before anyone says it was just them, it wasn't. I asked some other people throughout the day. Only one person didn't think it would be funny. Another said it would depend how I caught on fire.
So then at lunch, I'm still in a crappy mood because it hasn't been the best day in the world to say the least. So I'm just sitting there eating lunch and then 14 year old friend jumps in again since I'm sitting across from my best friend. Best friend goes "No, she's with *enter name of other guy in immediate group of friends*" Then another guy friend jumps in agreeing with best friend, and by this point I had had it. I got up, told everyone they should mind their own business (at which point the crust of my pizza fell off the plate ruining my exit), threw it away and stalked back to the table to get my bag. Other guy friend asked if I was okay and I just snped "No!" and stormed off to, well, I was just leaving at that point. I wound up sitting with another girl friend of mine and 14 year old and helping her study for math.
I guess I should pause here and explain that last part. 14 year old girl...okay fine, we're going to call her Natasha because this is just getting annoying, and I take Spanish, and the friend I'm with now (Let's cal her Sasha shall we?). Sasha's a freshman in Spanish 2 (she's absolutely brilliant), so I wind up helping her a lot since there is some stuff she missed since she tested out of Spanish 1. I absolutely adore her. She calls me her "Spanish speaking friend" and was actually the first non-family person I said 'I love you' to without feeling awkward about it. I hang out with her and Natasha a lot, so I figured I should explain them.
Anyways, I felt a little bad about leaving them because of another boy (umm Allen) because he's, well I'm not sure what he is. I think he's autistic, but only mildly. I mean, he does rock back and forth, but he can talk to people. But he's one of the sweetest people you will ever meet and as Sasha says "You just want to run over and give him a huge hug every time you see him, but you can't so you just hug yourself" She's only slightly kidding about the last part. But he never said anything about it, so I don't know if he even noticed. I still feel bad about it though, even though it's been a week now (yeah, I've kinda been working on this post for a week. Bear with me though, I promise I'll wrap this up quick).
Long story short, I made up with other guy friend who's promised not to make jokes about me and *enter other guy from immediate group of friend name here*, Natasha, and Natasha's boyfriend. Best freind however has decided to take the road where nothing happened. Idiot. Overall though, the week did suck. I was going to go see Alice in Wonderland, but because of my brat of a brother couldn't. He threw a fit on being left behind since he doesn't want to see it and he had practice for some sport. Then Saturday, I went prom dress shopping with my best friend (How about she's Becca). I saw this beautiful dress that I absolutely loved, but it was almost $200, there was a stain, part of the bead work looked like it was about to fall off, and part of the bodice thing had gotten un-sown and it kept poking me in the ribs and it actually left a mark. So no prom dress for me.
Then today (skipping Sunday and Monday) we took the ACT. I think I did okay, but I'm really not sure. We got to leave early so Becca, Bryan (best friend/former crush), and Charlie (*enter name here guy*) went to Subway. Twas fun. I think I'm falling for Charlie, but I just don't know. It's all very confusing. Then I go to dance and we learn this new part. For some reason, I just couldn't get my head around the weaving pattern. Well, I finally did, and then there wasn't enough space between the two girls I had to go between. The teacher mentions I mess up (again) and I said that. The other girls said I'd imagined it, and basically the teacher got fed up and just changed it. So then some of the girls got mad at me (not that that's anything new. I'm not part of their 'clique') but I don't know, it just sort of stuck to me today.
I tried explaining all that to dad, but he just doesn't get why I'm so upset. I always forget to never explain anything to him if it involves other teenage girls. He just doesn't get it. Then again, if I don't explain to him why I'm in a bad mood, he gets mad that I'm not telling him. Lose-lose situation if you ask me. Anyways, so then I get home and get almost completely ignored at dinner. Again, this isn't anything new but today it just bugged me since I got ignored this afternoon to. Really, the only attention I've gotten from my family today is getting yelled at this morning and tonight, my brother picking on me and stealing my stuff, and...that's it.
Then just now I get a call from Paige. Paige is the head tech crew person for the school's plays and musicals. I've been doing the lights (And I mean stage lights. The ones that you really need. Not the spotlights) for two years now. During last year's musical, I had to cancel last minute because my great-grandfather was hospitalized and we didn't think he'd make it through the night. i honestly thought that in flying to Puerto Rico, I was just flying to his funeral. Thankfully he made it, but I obviously didn't do the show. This year, I was going to audition because I absolutely love Fiddler on the Roof, and there's a ballet scene. Some people even said I'd probably get (one of) the lead(s) as Hava since she does ballet. Well, I finally get the guts to audition, but then I can't go because my stepmom was diagnosed with cancer. (She's fine now, don't worry). So I was just going to do the lights. Well, yesterday I was supposed to go to cue call, but I completely forgot since I was so worried about the ACT's today. Like I said Paige called and to make a long story short, the director/my choir teacher is pissed at me so I'm not doing the lights. Again. Great. So now she gets to sulk over it, then completely bitch me out in front of the entire choir. What makes it worse is the girl who did get Hava is in the choir, and good lord that girl hates me because she knows she wouldn't be Hava if I'd auditioned. She doesn't even like Fiddler on the Roof! She absolutely hates it. UGH!!!! So yeah. March sucks.
On a happy note since I really need some right now, It's been in the 50's all week, and should stay like that. The snow's melting and spring just might be on the way. Also, if you haven't, read Questionable Content. It is absolutely funny. There are some mature jokes, so yeah. Talk to you later. I'm sure I'll need to vent later (actually, I know there's more stuff I could vent about, but this is way to long as it is.) <3
So most of them follow me in, 14 year old and her bf go to walk around school. There were about 6 of us just hanging out and talking, when gay comes in and starts talking to me again. He asked if the school had gotten the new light board yet, and I said no and started ranting about how it's a complete and total fire hazard since it sparks if you put it on a certain level, and each year that level gets lower and lower (which makes the stage darker and darker). Somehow we got into talking about if I caught on fire and my brilliant best friend says "Do you have any idea how many views that would get on youtube?" Everyone laughed and agreed so then I asked "You guys wouldn't really laugh and videotape it,would you?" My best friend said yes, then quickly added he'd be sad though. So there you have it, my friends wouldn't care if I caught on fire. And before anyone says it was just them, it wasn't. I asked some other people throughout the day. Only one person didn't think it would be funny. Another said it would depend how I caught on fire.
So then at lunch, I'm still in a crappy mood because it hasn't been the best day in the world to say the least. So I'm just sitting there eating lunch and then 14 year old friend jumps in again since I'm sitting across from my best friend. Best friend goes "No, she's with *enter name of other guy in immediate group of friends*" Then another guy friend jumps in agreeing with best friend, and by this point I had had it. I got up, told everyone they should mind their own business (at which point the crust of my pizza fell off the plate ruining my exit), threw it away and stalked back to the table to get my bag. Other guy friend asked if I was okay and I just snped "No!" and stormed off to, well, I was just leaving at that point. I wound up sitting with another girl friend of mine and 14 year old and helping her study for math.
I guess I should pause here and explain that last part. 14 year old girl...okay fine, we're going to call her Natasha because this is just getting annoying, and I take Spanish, and the friend I'm with now (Let's cal her Sasha shall we?). Sasha's a freshman in Spanish 2 (she's absolutely brilliant), so I wind up helping her a lot since there is some stuff she missed since she tested out of Spanish 1. I absolutely adore her. She calls me her "Spanish speaking friend" and was actually the first non-family person I said 'I love you' to without feeling awkward about it. I hang out with her and Natasha a lot, so I figured I should explain them.
Anyways, I felt a little bad about leaving them because of another boy (umm Allen) because he's, well I'm not sure what he is. I think he's autistic, but only mildly. I mean, he does rock back and forth, but he can talk to people. But he's one of the sweetest people you will ever meet and as Sasha says "You just want to run over and give him a huge hug every time you see him, but you can't so you just hug yourself" She's only slightly kidding about the last part. But he never said anything about it, so I don't know if he even noticed. I still feel bad about it though, even though it's been a week now (yeah, I've kinda been working on this post for a week. Bear with me though, I promise I'll wrap this up quick).
Long story short, I made up with other guy friend who's promised not to make jokes about me and *enter other guy from immediate group of friend name here*, Natasha, and Natasha's boyfriend. Best freind however has decided to take the road where nothing happened. Idiot. Overall though, the week did suck. I was going to go see Alice in Wonderland, but because of my brat of a brother couldn't. He threw a fit on being left behind since he doesn't want to see it and he had practice for some sport. Then Saturday, I went prom dress shopping with my best friend (How about she's Becca). I saw this beautiful dress that I absolutely loved, but it was almost $200, there was a stain, part of the bead work looked like it was about to fall off, and part of the bodice thing had gotten un-sown and it kept poking me in the ribs and it actually left a mark. So no prom dress for me.
Then today (skipping Sunday and Monday) we took the ACT. I think I did okay, but I'm really not sure. We got to leave early so Becca, Bryan (best friend/former crush), and Charlie (*enter name here guy*) went to Subway. Twas fun. I think I'm falling for Charlie, but I just don't know. It's all very confusing. Then I go to dance and we learn this new part. For some reason, I just couldn't get my head around the weaving pattern. Well, I finally did, and then there wasn't enough space between the two girls I had to go between. The teacher mentions I mess up (again) and I said that. The other girls said I'd imagined it, and basically the teacher got fed up and just changed it. So then some of the girls got mad at me (not that that's anything new. I'm not part of their 'clique') but I don't know, it just sort of stuck to me today.
I tried explaining all that to dad, but he just doesn't get why I'm so upset. I always forget to never explain anything to him if it involves other teenage girls. He just doesn't get it. Then again, if I don't explain to him why I'm in a bad mood, he gets mad that I'm not telling him. Lose-lose situation if you ask me. Anyways, so then I get home and get almost completely ignored at dinner. Again, this isn't anything new but today it just bugged me since I got ignored this afternoon to. Really, the only attention I've gotten from my family today is getting yelled at this morning and tonight, my brother picking on me and stealing my stuff, and...that's it.
Then just now I get a call from Paige. Paige is the head tech crew person for the school's plays and musicals. I've been doing the lights (And I mean stage lights. The ones that you really need. Not the spotlights) for two years now. During last year's musical, I had to cancel last minute because my great-grandfather was hospitalized and we didn't think he'd make it through the night. i honestly thought that in flying to Puerto Rico, I was just flying to his funeral. Thankfully he made it, but I obviously didn't do the show. This year, I was going to audition because I absolutely love Fiddler on the Roof, and there's a ballet scene. Some people even said I'd probably get (one of) the lead(s) as Hava since she does ballet. Well, I finally get the guts to audition, but then I can't go because my stepmom was diagnosed with cancer. (She's fine now, don't worry). So I was just going to do the lights. Well, yesterday I was supposed to go to cue call, but I completely forgot since I was so worried about the ACT's today. Like I said Paige called and to make a long story short, the director/my choir teacher is pissed at me so I'm not doing the lights. Again. Great. So now she gets to sulk over it, then completely bitch me out in front of the entire choir. What makes it worse is the girl who did get Hava is in the choir, and good lord that girl hates me because she knows she wouldn't be Hava if I'd auditioned. She doesn't even like Fiddler on the Roof! She absolutely hates it. UGH!!!! So yeah. March sucks.
On a happy note since I really need some right now, It's been in the 50's all week, and should stay like that. The snow's melting and spring just might be on the way. Also, if you haven't, read Questionable Content. It is absolutely funny. There are some mature jokes, so yeah. Talk to you later. I'm sure I'll need to vent later (actually, I know there's more stuff I could vent about, but this is way to long as it is.) <3
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